5 Things To Do If Your Man Hasn’t Proposed

 

He could be waiting to get a better job, he could be saving for the ring or he could just be waiting until he’s a little older—none of this means he doesn’t want to marry you.

 

Waiting to get engaged but still no ring in sight? Don’t fret just yet.

Are you waiting for your man to propose and not sure when he’s going to do it? Don’t fret; here are five steps that will help to put your worried mind at ease.

1. Figure out if you’re looking for a proposal or just validation. Write down three reasons you want him to propose. If you find yourself thinking that a proposal will show that he really loves you, or you’re worried that if he doesn’t propose he might break up with you, you may not be ready to get married. If your partnership is strong, you’ll know that he loves and is committed to you, and you won’t need an offer of marriage to tell you that.

2. Wait as long as you can. Especially if you’re in your 20s. He could be waiting to get a better job, he could be saving for the ring or he could just be waiting until he’s a little older—none of this means he doesn’t want to marry you. And keep in mind that the longer you wait the stronger your relationship will be.

 

3. If you want kids and you’re worried about your fertility, tell him. If you having kids is more important to you than your relationship, make sure he knows how you feel—but be careful about giving him an explicit ultimatum, which could come across as manipulative. For a softer approach, here are some things you can say. Before you do, make sure you’re in a setting where he can be receptive; it’s harder to have a successful conversation if one person is distracted.

“I love you, and I want you to be the father of my children. The thing is I’ve been doing some research, and it looks like my chances of having a healthy pregnancy go way down if I wait another year or two. Can we talk about this?”
“I’m feeling really nervous about telling you something, but it’s so important to me that I feel like I have to just say it, so here goes. I want to have kids with you, and I’m worried that if we don’t get married soon it could be too late for us. I love you, and I want this to work for us.”
“I’m not saying this to make you feel boxed in, although I know that just saying it puts pressure on you. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you, I just want you to know what I’ve been thinking about.”

4. Talk to a professional. If you’re having trouble sleeping, are feeling overly anxious, or worrying about the proposal and marriage is interfering with your life, you might want to talk to a life coach or a therapist. Many problems can be resolved in just a few sessions, and if you have a more serious condition a professional can help you identify it.

5. Can’t wait? Ask him yourself! Sure, it’s uncommon, but that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t do it.